Here’s what I want to say to all the men who call “misandry” when women dare hate men, or to white people who think there is such a think as “reverse racism”, or any other BS privileged person who wants to coerce oppressed or marginalized people into “we are all individuals” and “hate is so negative” or [fill in your own BS comment here]…
I want to give you an illustration of how this works, because explanations seem to not reach high enough on the hierarchy ladder to reach your ears…
Here it is.
You leave your house and a one-eyed one-horned flying purple people eater – one of that group that makes up most of the cops, most of the politicians, most of the business owners, most of the military, most of the bankers, most of the managers, etc. – in short, the people in power, the people with access to resources, the decision-makers – comes up to you, and grabs you very unpleasantly. You call for help, and a cop – a purple people eater, of course – comes up and says, “I don’t see a problem here”.
Scared, and somewhat bruised, you get on a bus, where you are shoved around by all the purple people eaters, some actually touch you with their horns, or at least flash them – and get to work. Your boss – you got it, is a purple people eater, says that you are distracting everyone with your lack of purpleness, and therefore shut up when they harass you about it. And anyway, who are you to speak out? You are the lowest on the company hierarchy, so what if you get paid less, you must not be working hard enough. Stop complaining and get back to work.
Then you go to your purple people eater doctor to deal with your health, which is also affected by all the shoving, stress, poverty, and other results of NOT being a PPE – and doc says you are imagining it, or that’s how it is when you’re not purple, and gives you a pill created for PPE physiology that makes you pretty ill.
Then you go home (on the way several PPEs stare and you and say some stuff – no big deal, it’s not like they STABBED you with their horns! How do you know they didn’t mean it as a compliment?) and the PPE you live with (living with anyone who is NOT a PPE is freaky, and another reason for violence and discrimination), anyway – YOUR PPE, who had a bad day, punches you in the face.
When you complain, you are told that it’s #NotAllPeopleEaters, and why are you acting like this is a social issue, just leave. Well, you make less then your PPE, and you have a family that you are the primary caregiver for, and your friend got KILLED after leaving a PPE, and you are also pretty fearful at this point, but at some point you do manage to leave, and you meet a new PPE who is so enamored of you, so you set up house. Only this PPE also eventually feels like its okay to stab you with their horn, that’s what horns are for, after all, and you shouldn’t be complaining.
You turn on the TV for some escapism, and all the cool PPEs are doing really awesome stuff. You feel bad, because people like you are primarily in the story to get poked by PPE horns, and they are all really happy about it, for some reason, and keep telling you and everyone how awesome it is to be the pokee, and here are all the things you can do to be a better poking target – there are creams, and clothes, and operations, and if you are not the perfect target, well – there is something seriously wrong with you anyway, and you aren’t important enough to be heard and if no one wants to poke you with their horn it is THEIR fault and why are you acting like they are responsible for the situation?
You head to meet your counselor through the obstacle course of PPEs who are calling out at you, touching you, following you home, describing in detail how they are going to stab you with their horn… And your counselor is really supportive, and comforts you, and even hugs, you, and then you relax, because this is a trust relationship. After your counselor pokes you, you feel like it must be your fault that you feel bad, because they are supposed to know what’s right and wrong, and how to behave, and have your best interest at heart.
This goes on for years in various forms. You live with it (or not, but let’s assume you are still amongst us), and so you develop all kinds of mechanisms for dealing with PPEs. Sometimes that even requires that you adopt PPE mentalities, or rhetoric and politics that are in line with what PPEs are doing and saying – I mean, if the government wants to regulate those parts of your body that should have a horn but don’t, or that extra eye you insist on carrying around – there’s probably a good reason.
But deep down – do you trust purple people eaters? You probably love the PPEs in your life, maybe your are raising some little PPEs… There are a lot of reasons not to generalize. But maybe, just maybe, when you are walking down the street/picking a doctor/going to work/having a conversation while waiting in line at the bank… You’d really really really really rather that there be NO purple people eaters around you, at all. You probably want to socialize in settings they are not in, and promote people in business/politics/academia who are like you, because the next time you are framed only as the person to poke you might go on a murderous rampage.
Or simply see a PPE coming your way – and turn and head in the other direction. Yes, without waiting to see if THIS one will poke you or punch you in the face.